A TASTE FOR DEATH
by deetatarant
Summary: Ianto's been experimenting.... never good. Follows on from 'TOUCHING THE VOID'
1. Chapter 1

** A TASTE FOR DEATH PROLOGUE**

Ianto cursed at the pain he had inflicted on himself and bit at his lip as he turned on the tap, shoving his bleeding hand under the jet of cold water. It was nessescary, it was the only way. He kept repeating the mantra, but the blood continued to flow rather more enthusiastically than he would've liked. Shit! Owen was going to go loopy. It would heal before then though, wouldn't it? Right now Ianto wasn't so sure and tears stung at his eyes as a renewed surge of pain shot up his left arm.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

The blood was all over the kitchen bench and he'd managed to get it on the newly mopped floor. It continued to flow, unabated and Ianto gaped down at the swirling redness as it ran down the plug hole. Bollocks. He was beginning to feel queasy at the sight of it and he knew that this really wouldn't be a good time to faint. He shut off the tap and grabbed a tea towel bundling his wounded limb in the linen fabric. He jammed the swaddled hand into his armpit and reached for his mobile and speed dialled Owen..... Fuck, he'd need an excuse.

"Owen, hi.... sorry. Yes, I know what time it is. I'm sorry I've cut my hand, and I am bleeding all over my kitchen. I know..... yes..... well ten minutes now. I am a bit... ok... ok.... thanks." He hung up and frantically glanced around his naked virtually unused kitchen. In a panic he grabbed some carrots from the fridge, the knife, a cutting board and a sauce pan.... Yep, make it look like an accident. Ok, that would do. He sank down to the floor and cradled his hand, the towel now soaked through with blood............

**AN: Couldn't resist...... Yes I'm being mean to Ianto AGAIN......**


	2. Chapter 2

**PART ONE**

Vivian climbed off her client with a satisfied smile slapped over her face. It wasn't often she got as good as she gave even if the bloke had called out someone else's name when he climaxed. Life was like that, though that was the first time she'd ever been called a boy's name. The client, handsome as he was and no doubt more used to taking it up the arse had been a good shag all the same. The name thing was annoying though.

"That'll cost you an extra twenty." She slid into her silk dressing gown, no one could accuse her of being a cheap whore. He was clearly amused and sated because he chuckled as he watched her lithe body, disappointed to see it covered so readily. Time was obviously up.

"Didn't like the name thing huh?" His American accent was damn sexy. She turned watching as he sat up and pulled on a white T-Shirt.

"I would've preferred Vera to Ianto, hell what kind of a name is Ianto for Christ's sake."

Something clouded his beautiful face for just the briefest of moments before he flashed her a dazzling Hollywood grin. A mobile started to ring, breaking the smile in an instant. He grabbed the phone he had placed beside the bed before they'd gotten started and with the other hand he tossed over his wallet.

"Help yourself." His attention no longer on her...... another tenner at least. Viv took £200 in twenties and tossed it back, the client didn't seem to notice. Three minutes later and in a swish of coat tails he was out the door.

Ianto lifted his chin on hearing his front door open. "In the kitchen Owen."

A moment later a shadow fell over him and he looked up to see a somewhat dishevelled Jack Harkness gazing down at him. Jack bent down at his side and Ianto was instantly aware of the smell of perfume.

"What the Hell are you doing here?" His pain and bleeding forgotten. Jack smiled hesitantly.

"Owen called me.... here, let me see."

Ianto pulled back leaning into the cupboard door. "I called for Owen, you're not touching it." He cradled his hand and squeezed his eyes shut to ease his queasiness.

Jack shook his head with exasperation. "Don't be an ass come on. What happened?"

"Where's Owen?"

"On his way. I was nearer he called me, I came."

Ianto glared at him. "I bet you did."

Jack sighed. "What happened Ianto?"

"I was cutting carrots, I cut my hand."

The lie was easy enough to read. "At 3am?"

Ianto looked away. "I was hungry."

"Ianto....."

"Jack."

Jack stood up. "Fine. Mind if I make some tea while we wait?" He was worried, not entirely certain that Ianto wasn't about to go into shock, there was a lot of blood on the towel and on the bench, he noticed a moment later. Sweet tea would help, wasn't that right? He could feel Ianto's gaze boring into his back as he searched out cups and tea bags.

"Good, was she?"

Jack shook his head and had to smile at the accusatory tone. "Does it matter?"

"Obviously not."

"Yes, good and expensive." It knew that would piss Ianto off.

Ianto said nothing, his arm ached and he was really regretting testing out his earlier theory.

"Shit."

Jack turned at the whispered curse.

"Ianto?"

"Hurts is all. Where the fuck is Owen?"

"Right here you tosser!" The medic stomped in dumping his kit bag by Ianto's legs and kneeling at his side. He snapped on latex gloves and Ianto proffered his sore limb, wincing when Owen peeled away the sticky red linen tea towel. It was a Welsh Flag. He gently held Ianto by the wrist inspecting the still oozing cut. It ran a neat line across the palm. Owen examined it carefully.

"Can you move your fingers?"

Ianto complied with a wince, aware that Jack was watching carefully from over Owen's shoulder.

Owen looked pleased. "Ok, tendons are alright then. I'll clean it and stitch it, get up and sit on a chair at the table." He stepped back grabbing his gear and placing it on the dining table and began preparing a local injection and a stitch kit. Ianto hauled himself to his feet refusing Jack's outstretched hand to assist him. He sagged into a chair at the table feeling light headed and watched as Owen got to work washing at the cut with saline and gauze.

"How did this happen, Tea Boy?"

Ianto said nothing and Jack decided to intervene. "He was cutting carrots."

Owen rolled his eyes. "Tosser." Like Jack he knew the lie for what it was and really couldn't be bothered at this time of the night to ask further. "Ok, this'll sting a bit."

Ianto chewed at his lip, yep it stung. A mug of tea was placed by his good hand.

"Drink that." Jack ordered.

Ianto nodded and did as he was told, Jack's tea was always pretty good anyway. Twenty minutes later and Owen was done. He packed his things away and chucked the rest into the bin by the sink. He grabbed his bag and made to leave.

"I want you in my autopsy bay first thing, for a very long chat, are we clear?"

Ianto nodded realising that Owen had probably come to the same conclusion as Jack, he sighed resigned to his fate. "I'll be there."

Owen left knowing full well that Jack would stay. Jack with his mug of tea in hand sat down opposite Ianto and watched the younger man in silence, at least some of the colour had returned to his face. For his part Ianto ignored him, or at least tried to, the smell of the perfume was..... it annoyed him, disappointed him.

"So how much was she?"

Jack sighed and put down his mug. "Why did you cut open your hand?"

"Touche."

"You know the whole jealous thing really doesn't look good on you."

"Disappointment, Jack."

"What?"

"Disappointment."

Ianto finished his tea.

"It's not what you think it is either, before you ask. I'm not depressed or jealous or suicidal..... just disappointed." His hand throbbed again the local anaesthesia wearing off.

"Disappointed in me?"

Ianto arched an eyebrow. "He shoots, he scores."

"Ianto...."

"Fuck off Jack. I did this for you... I did this....." He blinked up at the ceiling but there were no tears, not even the threat of them. "I died Jack. I had 22 hours on a slab, no heart beat, no brain activity, no warmth in my broken body. I remember it, but mostly I remember the fire of life burning through me, could feel my bones repairing themselves, that ache.... that ache you have so often described to me. That other Jack, he gave me my life back, where you couldn't, you didn't even try and I know you could have done it because you did it before when Lisa threw me that time."

Jack frowned and opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm not finished Jack."

Jack closed his mouth and nodded his head.

Ianto hitched a bitter smile. "He told me he had given up his immortality to save me, to put things right..... he healed my body Jack. I felt every nerve coming back to life. It's had me wondering ever since. It's had me wondering whether or not I am now like you. I've been itching with that question for the last 10 days, so tonight I tried it out. I cut my hand to see if I could heal like you do, if maybe by any chance I was like you." The tears betrayed him now as he registered the horror on Jack's face.

"Jesus Ianto, why ever.... whatever. You hurt yourself, I....." Jack reached and took his hand. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Ianto pulled his hand away and stood up. "It doesn't matter now. I know I don't mean anything to you, not in anything other than Torchwood." He took his mug to the sink. "It doesn't matter."

Jack was at his side a moment later, resting a hand against the small of Ianto's back.

"Yes it does. Please tell me, so that I can understand this." He gestured to Ianto's freshly stitched and bandaged hand.

Ianto met his concerned look. "What use am I to you if I can die?"

Jack gawped at him. "What?"

Ianto snorted and turned away desperate for some distance between them. "Really, I don't know why I bothered because you and I just keep missing the target. I'm just disappointed that you felt needy enough to go out and pay for it instead of being honest with me, but we're not too good on honesty, you and I. Perhaps part of what you think is right. I am jealous. I'm jealous that Jonsey and his Jack have what we could never have. He gave me my life and all I can think of is how jealous I am. What kind of a man does that make me?" His eyes darted around the room, blood stains stark against white surfaces. "I need to clean up, can you leave now?"

Jack shook his head. "I'll help you and then you need to get to bed and get some rest." He sighed trying not to sound as angry as he felt, but Jack wasn't entirely sure who he was angry with at that point.

"I asked you to leave." There was a stern edge to Ianto's tone of voice, but Jack stood his ground, not taking it seriously. It was a mistake. Ianto walked out of the kitchen and came back a moment later with his hand gun aimed at Jack's chest. "Leave!"

Jack rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What? You think that frightens me? Jesus Ianto, what the fuck is the matter with you?"

"You stink of some whore's cheap perfume. I know we're not exclusive Jack but I do not need to have my dignity rubbed in the shit by your crass insensitivity, now get the fuck out of my flat before I shoot." He moved the barrel of the gun, jamming it under his own chin. "Or maybe I could take my test a little further.... see if I can pull a Lazarus shall we?"

Jack shot him a filthy look. "You stupid son of a bitch, go on get on with it!"

Jack stalked past the younger man and a moment later the front door was opened and then slammed shut. The weapon clattered to the floor. Ianto stood there, alone, feeling naked in the face of..... he wasn't sure what. His hand had finally stopped aching at least. Ianto raised it, curious. He carefully unwound the bandage and a dozen separate nylon knots came away from his healed palm. Ianto stared at it and started to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART two**

Jack stomped down the garden path and when he got to the SUV he kicked the driver's side with as much force as he could muster putting a sizable dent in it.

"Shit!"

He yanked open the door and got behind the steering wheel and thumped that for good measure as well. Ianto had to be the most exasperating man on the planet, he tested every ounce of Jack's will and resolve and sometimes Jack just wished he could retcon the little shit back into puberty. He sat there for some time breathing hard and finally his guilt got the better of him and he got back out of the car and locked it. The moment he opened the front door he heard the crying and sighing unhappily he stepped back into Ianto's house and made his way to the kitchen. Ianto was still standing, right where Jack had left him, the gun now on the floor alongside the unwound bandage that Ianto had clearly removed from his injured hand. Cautiously Jack edged into the room.

"Ianto?"

Ianto turned, a look of pure misery on his young face. Jack took a half dozen paces forwards and enveloped the younger man in his arms. Ianto sagged into the folds of his great coat and shuddered out a howl, his hands fisting in the fabric. Jack noted with some degree of startlement........ oh shit.

"Let me see your hand."

Ianto complied, holding it up and looking into Jack's eyes through his own tears. Jack inspected the unmarked skin of Ianto's palm.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He pulled him close, not wanting to wish his curse on his worst enemy, let alone the man he was in love with. There it was, the crux of it, the one thing Jack didn't want under any circumstances was to fall in love again. Ianto just held on, he didn't know what else to do. Finally standing was making his back ache and Ianto just knew he had to lie down before he fell down. He pulled himself free from Jack's arms.

"I'm going to bed, will you come with me?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, sure." He was tired anyway and didn't want to question Ianto's expectation. They'd talk in the morning, at least he hoped they would.

Ianto stripped down naked and clambered under his quilt and he fell asleep almost as soon as he put his head down. Jack tucked him and fussed with his hair for a moment before heading for the bathroom to shower. He was wholly conscious of the fact that he did not want Ianto to wake up with him still smelling of Viv.

Ianto awoke the following morning with his head cradled gently against Jack's chest, and warm fingers gently roaming through his hair. He lay there in silence for a while enjoying the comforting sensation and he closed his eyes again, drifting peacefully on the rhythm of Jack's breathing.

"You awake?"

"Uhmm."

Jack's hand strayed over his shoulders.

"You want breakfast?"

"Got nothing in." Came the murmured reply. Jack wasn't surprised, while Ianto prided himself on looking after his team mates he was generally pretty rubbish at looking after himself.

"Barnaby's will open in 20 minutes. Strawberries and waffles with cream."

It did sound good and Jack knew it was Ianto's favourite early morning treat, along with the special Jamaican coffee that was almost a fiver a cup. It was good coffee.

Ianto stretched out an arm from under the warmth of the bedding. "Ok, can we have make up sex first?"

Jack chuckled but shook his head. "No, we're gonna eat and we're gonna talk and then Owen is going to thoroughly check you over."

"I'd prefer make up sex."

"Me too, but I don't think that's a good idea right now."

Ianto was wide awake now and he sat up, the covers falling away from his milky white body. Jack thought he looked a little paler than normal but kept his mouth shut he'd mention it to Owen later. He realised Ianto was pouting. He certainly knew how to do that.

"Guess I better get up then, did I clean up the kitchen last night?"

Jack smiled at him. "No, I did after you fell asleep."

Ianto sighed gazing into the depths of Jack's oceanic blues and wanting to lose himself there indefinitely.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Me too."

Ianto rolled off the bed and padded off to the bathroom...............

**50 HOURS LATER.....**

Ianto waved Tosh out of the Hub and as soon as the cog door had closed he sagged down on to the couch under the tiled logo and buried his face in his hands. Two days was a long time to lose, 48 hours in which God only knew what had happened. It made him very nervous to think of the things they may have done, or even not done. He knew he should put it out of his mind, like Jack had instructed, after all there was stuff all he could do about it anyway. His head ached and all Ianto wanted to do was to go to bed and sleep it off. He felt a warm firm hand settle on his shoulder and Ianto looked up to see Jack smiling down at him.

"You ok?"

Ianto nodded. "Just a bit spooked really, but I think we all are right now."

Jack sat down beside him, leaning back and pulling Ianto with him. Ianto settled his head against Jack's shoulder. "We could've been wide open Jack and we're never going to know."

Jack fingers carded through his hair in soft, comforting touches. "If it is any consolation, everything seems alright with the world and I just got off the phone with UNIT and they tell me everything is ok with the world. I don't think any lasting damage was done, so stop worrying about it."

Ianto nodded and yawned at the same time. "I never did get that medical exam you threatened me with."

"I reminded Owen before he left, he'll do it in the morning."

A comfortable silence settled around them and Ianto yawned again. "I'll go and feed the residents and then I am going home." He eased himself away from Jack's gentle hold. Jack let him go somewhat reluctantly and watched Ianto leave for the cells his shoulders slumped. It easy enough to tell Ianto not to worry but the Hub had obviously been seriously compromised and there was no way of telling how or why it had happened. Jack did not like to feel this vulnerable, it reminded him too much of the time that he had lost Grey. He sighed and stood up and stretched, well at least Tosh got a nice bunch of flowers. He half wondered if Vivian would be working tonight, he needed to vent his angst and sex was always the best way to do it. He glanced at Ianto who was now on the upper gantry underneath Tosh's dragon painting feeding Myfanwy and instantly changed his mind.

"Hey Ianto?" He called out.

Ianto looked him, a salmon dangling from his hand. "Jack?"

"Wanna get some dinner?"

Ianto's expression morphed from bland to stunned in a millisecond and then he frowned, probably wondering what I am after, Jack thought.

"Luigi's is still open."

Ianto tossed the salmon and Myfanwy swooped it up with one snap of her long beak before she veered away into the heights again. Ianto was watching her now and Jack recognised that look of adoration so often focussed on him. Finally the young man replied and Jack realised he'd been holding his breath.

"Ok." He had another fish ready and this time Myfanwy landed on the gantry making a deep chortling sound as Ianto stepped forward and rubbed her neck as she swallowed down her next fish. Jack watched in fascination as she nudged at Ianto's pockets with her beak and Ianto chuckled.

"I know, I know you can smell it, can't you. I hope I haven't been neglecting you this last couple of days." He was feeding her chocolate chunks now. Jack suspected that if that dinosaur could purr, it would be roaring right now. It was wonderful to see Ianto looking so content in her presence, it was rare at best to see him relaxed let alone smiling so Jack just watched, enjoying the moment.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Ianto picked at his food, not eating much and Jack happily ate all of his own and then the rest of Ianto's, though Ianto refused to share his desert. They talked about very little, both of them still out of kilter and neither sure how to express it without going over it again. Two days gone, Ianto had even frightened his sister half to death by ringing her to make sure everyone was ok only to be told off for not visiting. As usual it was raining when they stepped out of the restaurant and Jack was unable to resist the temptation of taking Ianto's hand as they walked hurriedly back to his house. On the doorstep Jack hesitated, waiting to be invited in. Ianto just grabbed his coat collar and dragged him inside.

**AN: This is as fluffy as this gets...... from here on in... well it's anybody's guess really.......and thank you so much everyone for the reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**PART THREE**

Ianto stuck out an arm from under his quilt and knocked the trilling alarm clock to the floor. He rolled over to discover the space in the bed beside him was still warm but empty, eventually he opened his eyes and discovered Jack towelling himself dry. Reluctantly he sat up amid the covers and decided to watch the spectacle that was Captain Jack Harkness trying to locate his clothes in the chaos of last night's antics. Ianto really didn't want to get up but finally he did, dragging a sheet off the bed with him and wrapping it round himself before heading to the bathroom. When he came out of the bathroom all freshly showered and groomed Jack just stood there admiring the view.

"You should wear the nice dark purple shirt today."

"All my shirts are nice. I was thinking green though." Ianto was inspecting the contents of his wardrobe with a critical eye.

"Green? You have a green shirt?" Jack had never seen the young man wear anything green.

Ianto obligued him by holding it up. He shook his head and then put it back in the wardrobe, pulling out a claret red one instead.

"Oh yes." Jack purred. "Definitely your colour, with the charcoal three piece."

Ianto nodded and selected a new suit that his tailor had finished for him the previous week. Jack stood there shamelessly watching as Ianto dressed with military precision, it was a thing of beauty to watch as Ianto finished knotting his tie with Jack's face visible in the mirror, overlooking his shoulder.

"You really are quite beautiful, you know." Jack said, suddenly very serious. Ianto turned to face him with the tiniest of smiles.

"So are you." Ianto replied uncomfortable all of a sudden, Jack didn't get sentimental. "We should get going."

"What? No breakfast?"

"I'll pick something up on the way in, I need to get coffee anyway otherwise there'll be mutiny."

An hour later and Ianto was perched on the autopsy table, stripped down to his underwear and shivering whilst Owen gave him a thorough medical, Ianto was reminded that he needed to sort out the heating again. Owen declared him fit and sent him away three hours later. Ianto made coffees and distributed them amongst his team mates before settling down at his terminal to get on with some work.

It was a quiet day all round with a break at lunch for an hour in the boardroom over take aways. No one spoke much, still subdued by the missing two days. Ianto watched Tosh as she shot surrepticious glances at Owen and Gwen kept looking at Jack with something close to longing in her eyes. Jack didn't look at any one, he just ate copious amounts of food and drank three mugs of coffee. Ianto picked at his meal, having no apetite once again, his good mood of the early morning rapidly waning. He left the boardroom and went back to his desk and it took him some moments to realise that the others were still in there, now talking avidly. Ianto sighed.

"Well Owen is Ianto ok?" Jack asked.

Owen nodded, chewing on a pork ball, he spoke with his mouth full.

"Hardly the time or place, but yes he is fine."

Tosh and Gwen were both now looking at Jack.

"Care to enlighten us?"

Jack shook his head. "Not really, but, it is possible that Ianto has become like me. He certainly seems to have inherited my accelerated healing ability from the 'other version' of me."

Tosh was looking over her shoulder in the direction of her colleague who was working, head down.

"You think he's immortal?"

Jack shrugged. "Let's just say I'd rather we didn't put it to the test, but Ianto is a little freaked, especially after the last couple of days worth of weirdness. Look just treat him as normal, ok?"

Gwen was not even remotely pleased about this turn of events. "I thought the other Jack said......"

"I know, so did I and quite frankly I will be more than a little pissed with him if I find out he was lying. This is no gift and Ianto faces a long time ahead of him and a great deal of loss if he is immortal."

Owen snorted. "He should be used to it by now, half his family are dead, his ex, his mates from London, anyway he's got you to look out for him, you know the drill with this."

The three of them all looked at Jack expectantly. "You seriously imagine there is any easy way coping with the fact that you will outlive your own children, your own culture, your own age maybe even your own language. Do any of you really have any idea of what immortality actually means? I hope I can help him Owen, because frankly I am the only one who can."

Owen and Tosh both had the decency to look guilty and Gwen just looked sorry, but not for Ianto, for Jack. Ianto would have the help that Jack never got.

"Anyway people, back to work and knowledge Ianto's condition does not leave this base, are we all clear on that?"

The team nodded.

Jack lurched out of his seat and left the room and called down into the Hub to Ianto.

"My office."

Ianto looked up with a frown and Jack smiled at him. He gathered up the report on his desk that he wanted to discuss with Jack anyway and wandered up to the office faintly aware of Gwen's eyes on him as he went. Owen was now back down in his domain and Tosh was tidying the mess on the boardroom table. Ianto stuck his head in through the door way.

"I'll sort that in a minute Tosh." He smiled at her and Tosh smiled back.

"Ok, come and see me when Jack's done?"

"The couch in an hour?"

"It's a date."

He continued on up to Jack's office and entered, closing the door behind him. Jack was sitting on the edge of his desk and gesturing to the chair by his knees.

"Sit, we have things to talk about."

Ianto nodded realising that Jack had his 'boss hat' on right now and was probably feeling a little awkward.

"Owen's test results?"

Jack smiled. "He says you're ok, which begs the question."

"Am I like you?"

Jack nodded. "Look Ianto, I know this is.... difficult and I am certain that you need to know one way or the other, but under no circumstances are you to do any more 'tests'."

Ianto was examining his palm. "There's not even a faint mark Jack and my appendix scar is gone."

"Are there any other signs? Anything you haven't told Owen?"

Ianto looked a little sheepish. "My hearing is better, my eyesight is better, my sense of smell is second to none, which is somewhat disconcerting in this place. He knows I still feel tired and a bit achey, but that could be to do with whatever happened over the last couple of days..... and last night, of course." He ended with a smile.

Jack nodded again, trying to keep his objectivity in place. "Look Ianto, I know we have our moments, I know we don't talk nearly as much as we should and I also know I've been a total arse lately, but this is big and I don't want you thinking you are alone in this, putting aside our involvement for the moment, I just want you to know that I am here for you, if you need me, ok?"

Ianto met his concerned look and chewed on his lower lip. "I just don't think it has sunk in yet Jack. I want to carry on as normal, no special treatment."

"Ok."

"Thank you."

Ianto held up the folder. "Which brings me to this."

Jack got his feet, wandered around his desk and sat in his chair. He took the manila folder that Ianto proffered.

"It's one of my Ebay projects.....he's been selling tech again and one of the items that came up looked very concerning, so I ran a check on the buyer and I was blocked by some pretty high tech protection. I was going to get Tosh to have a go, but I wouldn't mind bringing in the seller anyway, he's been trading for too long and it's becoming more sinister as time goes on."

"Ok, well he's in Bristol, that's not too far, you me and Gwen can go and check it out first thing in the morning, Tosh has a sizable Rift spike predicted for early this evening so we can't head out there today."

"Long night then?"

Jack handed the folder back. "Oh yeah!"

Ianto rose from his place and turned to leave the room but Jack's voice stopped him.

"I mean it Ianto, talk to me, I need to know you are ok."

Ianto faced him with that 'oh so innocent look'. "Coffee?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Yes, thank you."

Ianto left the office.


	5. Chapter 5

**PART FOUR**

Tosh was waiting for him on the couch so Ianto smiled at her and presented her with green tea and ginger biscuits, Tosh's counceling food. He settled down beside her with his own mug of coffee clasped in both hands. Tosh sipped at her tea, which was the perfect strength and temperature, as always.

"So, I get the feeling I've missed something important Ianto and you know I don't like it when you don't share."

Ianto had the good grace to look a little sheepish, he wasn't certain what to tell her, how to tell her.

"After I died, when I woke up that is, I found that my scar on my shoulder, the one from Canary Wharf was gone. My appendix scar is gone too. I thought that a bit weird, but then so is coming back from the dead. It bugged me Tosh, I mean really bugged me so a couple of days ago when I was at home I cut my hand to see if it would heal, like Jack does. Only I cut it too deeply and it bloody well kept on bleeding, so I rang Owen, he rang Jack..... blah blah. Anyway, it turns out I do heal, though not as fast as Jack. Jack and I had a fight. He's been such a twat lately and I...... well you know how I feel about him." His speech petered out and Tosh gently rubbed his leg as she sipped her tea.

"You should have said something, if you were worried, at least.... well at least you could have told me. Owen and Jack must have been furious with you."

Ianto nodded.

"Rightly so, you could have done yourself some serious damage, you're not thinking of trying anything else are you?"

Ianto shook his head. "No, Jack made his feelings about that quite clear. I'm such an idiot Tosh. I know I should have talked to Jack, but he never likes to talk about meaningful stuff, things that make us seem like we do have some kind of relationship. We've never talked and I'm rubbish at opening up anyway."

Tosh couldn't argue the point. "Ianto, you died. You were dead for a long time and here you are now, living and breathing, maybe forever, Jack is precisely the person you should be talking to. He understands, he can't help but understand and he cares about you a lot more than he thinks he does. He follows you with his eyes and there's this little smile on his face whenever he does it. I can't even begin to understand how you must be feeling, I wish I did....."

"I'm glad you don't. I remember being dead Tosh, being in 'that' space and I can't define it in words that even I can understand, I don't stand a hope of being able to explain it to you."

"My point exactly Ianto. Jack's been there and maybe in a way it will help both of you, now it's not just Jack."

Ianto leaned back, his head resting against the Victorian tiled wall that arched above them.

"I don't want to burden him and I don't want him thinking this is a way of keeping some kind of strangle hold on him. Jack's such a free spirit he's......."

"He's alone Ianto, he's lost so much and maybe you are the one thing he isn't meant to lose."

Ianto sighed. "And supposing you're right and we do get forever do you seriously imagine that we could survive forever?"

It was 4am by the time the gang had finished for the day, well the previous day anyway. Owen and Gwen had left the moment Jack had said the magic words and Ianto was pulling on his coat and offering Tosh a lift home when Jack stepped out of his office having turned out the lights.

"Do you mind if I come with?"

Ianto's eyebrows were almost to his hairline. "Er no, of course not."

Tosh had to suppress a snigger at the younger man's discomfort. "I'll just shut this down, won't be minute."

Ianto stood by the cog door, hands stuffed into his pockets and Jack joined him. They waited for Tosh and when she was ready they left the Hub. Ianto locking down the building as they went.....

Four hours sleep wasn't anything like enough in Gwen's view. She had put on a little extra make-up to help her look a little a more awake and realised she'd probably over done the mascara a bit, still Jack didn't seem to mind as he gave her good looking over as she climbed into the front passenger seat of the SUV effectively blocking Ianto. Jack was at the steering wheel and Ianto was quietly grateful for the back seat because it meant he could have a sneaky nap on the way to Bristol. He listened vaguely as Gwen and Jack chatted away quite merrily in the front of the vehicle and was pleasantly surprised that Jack was sticking to the speed limit for a change. Ianto shifted on the seat a little and rested his head against the window and watched in contented silence as the world slid by. He hadn't slept last night. After Tosh had been dropped home Jack had insisted that they go to the supermarket of all places because he wanted to make a special breakfast. By the time they got home, had very nice sex on the couch and in the shower, it was time for breakfast. Ianto hadn't minded, it actually felt normal and vaguely romantic. Jack was obviously worrying about him and Ianto realised that Jack had his own past experiences to tell him just how Ianto was feeling. Though in truth Ianto didn't feel especially bad, just off balance, he wasn't certain really, just not bad. It took him a moment to recognise the fact the SUV had actually stopped outside a somewhat run down block of flats. Jack and Gwen were both looking at him.

"Ianto?"

He smiled at them, caught in the act. "Just having forty winks, is this it?"

Jack got straight to business. "Ok you guys go up and talk to O Rourke I'm going to check out his lock up, keep your coms on, we don't know what this guy is like."

"His wrap sheet is pretty colourful." Gwen added.

"I want you to follow Ianto's lead on this."

Gwen nodded deciding now was not the time to be protesting, after all Ianto had been watching this bloke's internet activity for months, she wondered how many other little Ebay projects he had going.

"Is this guy likely to be armed?"

Ianto nodded. "It's not that I'm especially interested in him, it's one of his buyers, but if we can put him out of business as well. He probably will be armed, these types usually are."

"You've dealt with this sort of thing before?"

"It was Ianto's first and ongoing assignment when he came to us, usually he deals with things himself but O'Rouke's wrap sheet was slightly concerning. Anyway let's do this. Keep your coms on I want to hear everything." Jack got out of the SUV and went to the back opening up the tailgate and retrieving a tool bag with scanners and bolt cutters inside. He waved cheerily as Gwen and Ianto walked along the road to the front entrance of the concrete building.

"It's number 314." Ianto advised as they stepped into darkened lobby. It stank of stale piss and the walls were colourfully decorated with the latest spray tags. Gwen didn't even consider using the elevator and made for the stairs. The smell was considerabley worse and she smiled at the displeasure clearly written on Ianto's face. They trudged up the steps and Gwen decided, now that she'd got him alone to speak her mind.

"Jack's worried about you, I hope you know that."

Ianto chose not to comment so Gwen kept on. "You should tell him things Ianto, we're never quite sure with you sometimes, with the secrets I mean, after last time. I don't mean to be rude pet. We just want you to be alright. Jack's got enough to deal without....."

She stopped when she realised that Ianto had halted a couple of steps back.

"Leave it Gwen. I have spoken to Jack. He knows what is going on." He responded slightly taken aback by what she had said. Gwen offered up a smile and Ianto felt his gut twist at the dishonesty of the gesture.

"That's alright then, come on."

Ianto moved past her his back prickling with annoyance.

The door for flat number 314 looked as unremarkable as all the others they had passed in the grimy corridor. Ianto pulled out his fake police ID and wrapped on the wood with his knuckles. The door was opened and an unshaven scruffy looking young man leaned out and gawped at them. Ianto raised his badge and before he could open his mouth....

"Oh shit!" The door was almost slammed shut but Ianto got his boot in the way and shoved it open. He and Gwen drew their guns and chased after the man as he bolted along the dingy hallway and through a door. Ianto followed, Gwen a pace behind. They came into a lounge with windows wide open and a glass door flung outwards. O'Rourke was trying to get over his balcony. Ianto crossed the distance rapidly racing out through the door and grabbing at a leg. O'Rourke yanked it back and Ianto held on to stop him from getting away.

"Gerroff me ya tosser!"

"Not bloody likely."

Gwen was at his side about to help when O'Rourke jerked his leg, kicking viciously. Ianto refused to let go but caught the blow to his chin, he staggered and tumbled backwards over the railing, pulling the escapee with him and both of them fell three floors to the concrete below.


	6. Chapter 6

**PART FIVE**

Jack strode across the expanse of concrete towards the row of lock up garages that nestled under the shadows of a half dozen tower blocks. A couple of kids shot past on their push bikes doing double takes at his flapping coat as they went by.

"Puffter!"

Jack ignored the comment his attention suddenly drawn by shouting above his head. He glanced, eyes widening in horror as two bodies dropped like stones and landed with a sickening crunch. Jack ran, recognising Ianto's neat attire and he suddenly heard Gwen screaming down her coms.

"Jack! Jack Ianto's down. I nee......"

"I see Gwen. Get the SUV now!"

He practically skidded to a stop the second body had landed half over Ianto and Jack shoved it aside noting it was O'Rourke, who was plainly dead. He knelt over Ianto and gently lifted his head. The skull at the back was smashed in and blood leaked through hair and bone over Jack's hand.

"Shit, Ianto.... come on."

Carefully Jack hauled Ianto's broken dead body into his arms cradling him with gentle caution and unaware of the people that had started to gather around them. Jack was oblivious looking into Ianto's white face, shocking blue empty eyes turned heavenward.

"Come on Ianto, come back to me." Jack kissed his cheek and petted him, stroking a shaking hand over Ianto's chest. He could feel the energy there, the healing kicking in, like an electrical charge. "Come on Yan, please, you can do this."

There was a screech of brakes and suddenly Gwen was there, waving her police ID and pushing people back, she kept glancing over her shoulder at the tableau there, Jack with Ianto in his arms and a dead O'Rouke lying in a crooked heap to the side.

Jack's eyes briefly met Gwen's and she hitched a brief smile on seeing the tears on his cheeks. Jack looked back to Ianto lowering his face so his lips were against Ianto's.

"Come on Ianto, come on. I'm here it's Jack. Please wake up now."

Ianto jerked, hauled in a breath his eyes blinking furiously. A second breath was dragged in and Jack quickly checked the back of his head, which was now intact. With relief he kissed Ianto, and suddenly Ianto was struggling and pushing him away, abject disgust in his fierce gaze.

"Gerroff me ya fucking queer bastard!"

Horrified Jack let go as Ianto staggered to his feet and gawped at him. "You sick fuck you.... oh fuck fuck.... What the fuck is going on?!" He was staring at the other body and Jack got to his feet outstretching his hands towards Ianto.

"It's ok Ianto, it's ok."

Ianto looked panicked. "I'm not Ianto I'm John and that's me there, what the fuck?" His eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted right at Jack's feet. It took a moment for Jack to collect himself. There were too many people around them and now he could hear sirens as well. Just great. He knelt down at Ianto's side and checked his pulse, still alive then. Jack sighed worriedly wondering if his day could get any worse.

The Bristol constabulary were very helpful in the end. They took some convincing but a couple of well placed phone calls had them falling over themselves to be of assistance, primarily to get rid of them Jack realised. Gwen was a God send, she handled them with extreme skill and once again Jack was entirely grateful to her policing background.

That evening saw Ianto Jones sitting in the interrogation cell his hands cuffed to the table after an earlier fist swing that left Owen with a split lip. The team were watching through the monitors. It had been a struggle getting him into the cell, the man was clearly panicked and had no idea where he was and who people were. Owen had thought it was some elaborate joke until he registered the worry on his boss' face

"Every bit of equipment we have is telling me that that is Ianto Jones." Owen was cross. "What the fuck did you do to him Harkness?"

Gwen huffed out a sigh. "Jack didn't do anything. Ianto died, he fell from the balcony with the other bloke, they both died Owen and now Ianto has woken up like this."

Jack was looking thoughtfully at the man sitting there looking frantically around the confines of the brick cell, he was yelling into the security camera.

"I've got right's you know. That bloke assaulted me I could 'ave him up for attempted rape...... fucking let me out of here." Came over the speakers until Tosh turned them off. She continued to work her keyboard for a few moments a puzzled frown on her face.

"Jack I think you should see this."

Jack wandered over, but Owen and Gwen remained where they were.

"What have you got for me?"

Tosh pointed at her monitor. "Our....well Ianto's body is emitting very low levels of energy that I'd come to associate with you healing. I'm thinking perhaps that Ianto is still healing, that whatever happened to Ianto's consciousness is still being dealt with by his healing process. Do you mind if I throw out a theory to you?"

Jack smiled at her. "You've never felt the need to ask before, don't let me stop you now."

"It's a little far fetched."

Jack gently squeezed her shoulder. "And this is Torchwood, go on Tosh."

She tapped a few more keys, pulling up the CCTV footage of both Ianto and O'Rourke falling from the balcony.

"They died within moments of one another, their bodies were touching, what if somehow instead of dying O'Rourke's..... well his soul, for want of a better word. What if his soul leapt across to Ianto? What if in that split second moment during death. I mean perhaps Ianto is vulnerable in that time? I don't know Jack, but these readings indicate the presence of a 'ghost' in the cell with Ianto."

"So where's Ianto?"

Tosh shrugged. "Maybe he's in there and he's just weaker, or maybe he's where ever it is you go when you die before you come back or......."

"Or maybe he's properly gone." Jack straightened up. "Shit." He really didn't like the sound of that at all. He turned away from her trying to recall any of his own resurrections where he'd had trouble coming back but he could not remember any and wasn't even aware of the passage of time when he was 'dead'.

"Shit, we should talk to him."

Tosh nodded. "Let Gwen, she's got practice. I think you'll just frighten him."

Jack agreed. "Keep monitoring the cell."

Jack rejoined the other two of his colleagues.

"Gwen, I'd like you to go in there and try to establish who it is we are talking to, if it's not Ianto we have to find a way to get him back."

Owen and Gwen were both eying Jack with doubtful expressions on their faces.

"How the hell do you propose to do that?"

Jack had no idea. "I'll think of something. In the meantime Owen do a second set of tests, anything you can think of. Lets get as much information as we can."

"And what are you going to do?" Gwen demanded.

"I'm going to contact the other Jack and find out if anything like this has happened before. That is clearly Ianto's body in the cell, Tosh has speculated that O'Rourke is in there, which begs the question of where Ianto is. So snap to it, we need answers fast."


	7. Chapter 7

**PART SIX**

John Ennis O'Rourke squinted at the little mirror clutched tightly in his hand, willing the face reflected there to change to the one it should be. He glanced at the hot woman sitting opposite him and sighed.

"I must be on drugs or something."

The woman who was called Gwen was smiling at him in a way that completely failed to reassure him.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"You're not the fuzz are you?"

She shook her head.

"Thought not, this guy.... the one you were with was too neat and now.. He's me and only I'm not.... what the fuck have you done to me?" He really was starting to get a little frightened now; drugs would've worn off hours ago.

"We have haven't done anything to you. Can you remember falling from the balcony?"

O'Rourke would've have buried his face in his hands if they weren't still cuffed to the table.

"Yeah, I remember. I'm dead then?"

The woman shrugged. "Your body is in our morgue with a broken neck and sundry bruises."

"So who is this loser?"

"My friend."

"And how come his neck aint broken?"

The woman turned away, looking up in the direction of a blackened window which was obviously two way glass. He watched as she nodded her head.

"Ianto has the ability to come back from the dead."

O'Rourke closed his eyes wondering where he scored the high class shit that was making him hallucinate so vividly, hardly his favourite fantasy though. He leaned forward and repeatedly head butted the desk hoping to clear his foggy brain.

"For the love of Christ, did Derek put you up to this?"

"Who is Derek?"

He rolled his head from side to side and realised that he was not improved in the slightest, which was not a good sign.

"Am I really dead?"

"Yes. Unless you're playing an especially bad joke on us, Ianto."

O'Rourke frowned. "Ianto's such a poncy name, sorry love no joking."

The woman sighed and got to her feet. He watched her leave and close the door with a resonating clang behind her.

Gwen charged back into the main area of the Hub with an agitated look on her face.

"Well, he's definitely not Ianto. There was no hint of recognition, none of that mischievous sparkle when he's up to no good, you know the one." She was facing Jack and could tell that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"So what are we going to do?"

Owen and Tosh were both looking in Jack's direction as well and Jack realised he did not have an answer.

"I spoke to my counterpart; he said he'd never experienced any kind of separation from his body like what we're dealing with now. Jonsey suggested something a bit radical and I am inclined to try it unless anyone can come up with a better, less drastic course of action."

"Somehow I think I am not liking where this is going." Owen folded his arms, waiting for Jack to elaborate.

Jack tried to look non committal. "Let's take this to the boardroom, Gwen could you get us some coffee?"

Gwen was happy to oblige, even though the team were going have to put up with instant.

Ten minutes later and they were gathered in their customary places, Ianto conspicuous by his absence. They accepted their drinks without complaint, not wanting to discourage Gwen from at least trying and Jack gave them a minute to settle before starting to explain what Jonsey had suggested over the phone.

"When I die......" Jack really didn't like talking about this; Ianto was the only one who knew the ins and outs of Jack's deaths. "When I die, I am aware of going to a different place. I can only describe it as a room, a bright glass room with shadows that move on the other side of the glass. I don't know where or what it is, just that I am there and when I come back to life I am pulled back. It hurts..... It hurts a lot, like my whole being is aflame and sometimes I feel myself trying not to come back because I know instinctively how much it will hurt. I always come back. Lately it's been easier because Ianto has helped me, he's usually there when I wake up and it helps me. I can only assume that Ianto experiences something similar. He told me when he woke that first time in the morgue how much it had hurt, that he was aware of the time when he was dead. We know from Tosh's scans that Ianto's body is still repair mode, I am hazarding a guess that that will continue until his..... spirit.... soul, whatever is reinstated." Jack took a moment to glance at the faces of his team, his brilliant team.

"So how do we reinstate him?" Gwen asked not really getting where Jack was going with this. Owen and Tosh however had quickly figured it out.

"You think killing his body will fix it?" Owen asked, rather fascinated by the notion.

Jack nodded. "I'm hoping."

Gwen was gaping. "You're not serious?"

"Yes, I am."

Tosh gave her a smile. "I think Jack's right."

"But what about O'Rourke? I mean he's in there, he's alive, conscious. If you kill Ianto then he will die too."

Jack arched his eyebrows. "He's dead already; he just hasn't figured it out yet. I don't see the problem."

Gwen opened her mouth to protest but changed her mind on seeing the clouded expression on Jack's face.

"Anyone else?"

Owen pushed his mug away. "We are certain that Ianto's body is capable of.... well that thing that you do?"

Jack nodded. "I've seen it twice now."

"Ok, so let's get him into the autopsy bay and give him a lethal injection and see what happens, what is the worse that could happen?"

"You've no argument from me. You're absolutely positive that that isn't Ianto in the throes of a mental breakdown?" Jack was nervous enough about this as it was, but Owen's expression said it all.

"I've seen Ianto in the throes of a mental breakdown Jack and he doesn't turn into an Irish petty thief I promise you. I have triple checked, that man is Ianto's body, no doubt, but not his mind. This IS Torchwood Jack, what's so remarkable about possession, bleeding aliens do it all the time."

Tosh sniggered and Gwen continued to gawp in outrage.

Jack took a final look at Gwen, Owen and Tosh holding each of their gazes for a moment.

"Any objections, anyone?"

No one spoke.

"Good, then let's set this up."

O'Rourke eyed the man who uncuffed him with a degree of worry. He had stepped into the cell with a cold look on his face and an Asian woman had followed in his wake with a gun in her hand. She had been unable to meet his eyes, but the intention of the weapon was clear enough. He remained seated and rubbed at his wrists as a third man entered the cell with what looked like a satchel in his hand.

"You won't need those Owen." It was an American accent, the bloke who had snogged him when he had woken up in the car park outside his flat.

"What's going on?"

The yank turned and smiled at him, dazzling white nashers looking somewhat evil.

"You have nothing to worry about." The gun was passed over and O'Rourke gaped in horror as it was levelled at his forehead. His world went black.

"Oh Jesus Jack, you didn't have to shoot him!" Tosh exclaimed in horror as she watched Ianto slumped over the table. Jack handed the gun back to her.

"It's quick and efficient and takes the least amount of time to recover from."

Owen was pulling out his scanner and shaking his head.

"Ianto's going to have a mother of a head ache, get him lying on the floor, so he doesn't fall off the chair when he awakes."

Tosh put the gun on the table and she and Jack carefully manoeuvred the body on to the concrete. Gwen was watching from the doorway, none too happy about the proceedings and shocked that Jack could so callously shoot Ianto the way he had. Jack settled himself on the floor, resting Ianto's head in his lap and grasping both of his still hands. He watched in morbid determination as the hole in Ianto's forehead closed over. Owen was hovering near by, his scanner in hand and paying more attention to the readouts....

"Ok, here it comes."

A breath was sucked in, not the shuddering panicked kind that Jack was expecting, just a breath and then another. It was calm and even and Ianto's eyes remained steadfastly closed. The breathing continued as if he were asleep. Jack gently brushed at his cheek willing to younger man to come round.

"Ianto, wake up now. Ianto?"

Owen was frowning at his PDA. "We really should have waited until we got him into the autopsy bay. According to these readings.... well I am not sure. O'Rourke's gone, but I don't think Ianto is in there either. In fact I don't think anyone is."


	8. Chapter 8

**PART SEVEN**

**Jack quickly gathered** up Ianto's limp form in his arms and carried him through the Hub to the autopsy bay with Owen hot on his heels and Gwen and Tosh trailing behind. He carefully set the unconscious man down onto the exam table and Owen got to work straight away, shooing his teammates out of the way. Jack turned ushering Gwen and Tosh up the steps.

"Tosh, run a full scan and compare it to the last set of readings taken from the interrogation cell."

"Right." Tosh went straight to her terminal. Gwen waited, watching Jack apprehensively. He avoided her gaze and turned to see what Owen was up to. The medic was busy with various pieces of monitoring equipment, cursing and grumbling as he worked. Jack decided it was best to leave him to get on in peace.

"Let me know as soon as you have anything Owen."

"Yes, boss."

Jack sighed and reluctantly moved away from Owen's domain and in the direction of the kitchenette, he needed coffee...... he needed Ianto's coffee along with the sarcastic, dry wit and faint smile that always came with it. Gwen was still following him.

"Jack." She hissed out a whisper. "How could you do that? How could you do that to Ianto?"

He faced her trying not to feel anger, and hoping beyond hope that he hadn't in fact just condemned Ianto to eternity in a comatose state. He narrowed his eyes, taking in her distrustful look.

"Jack!"

"Leave it."

"No I will not. You shot him in cold blood."

He closed himself off completely at that and went into 'Captain' mode because he wasn't sure that she was entirely wrong.

"I said leave it!" His tone was dangerous and Gwen recognised the fine line she was walking.

"I want my protest on record, because if by some miracle Ianto does in fact come back to us......"

"What? You want him to know that you had no part in trying to bring him back?"

"If it means resorting to murder Jack."

"I didn't murder anyone. O'Rourke was already dead, in case you'd forgotten."

"Was he though?"

Jack winced, that was the question really when all was said and done.

"You've made your opinion quite clear Gwen, duly noted." He shook his head and moved away, coffee didn't seem like such a good idea after all.

An hour later they had reconvened in the boardroom. Gwen and Tosh were sat opposite Jack and Owen.

"Ok, can I start?" Owen was getting impatient and wanted to get back to the autopsy bay. The team all nodded and Tosh smiled at him as well.

"Right then. Tea Boy is alive and well, his automatic responses are all working, irises, reflexes, etc. His hearing and eyesight are working, he is aware of touch and I suspect that if he was capable of language he'd be able to speak. He is breathing independently, his pulse, blood pressure and heart rhythm are all excellent. The lights are all on and no one is home." He sat back in his chair and Tosh took that as her cue to continue.

"Ok before Jack..... Well before you shot him I was getting two sets of readings from Ianto. I am now getting only one. He is still is some state of flux which indicates that his body is still trying to heal itself, but the 'ghosting' has gone so I think it safe to say that O'Rourke is where he should be now. My readings pretty much concur with Owen's in terms of Ianto's physical functions. He's like an empty husk." It was not a description she felt comfortable with using.

"So what are we going to do with him?" Gwen looked to each of her colleagues in turn, saving a final glare for Jack. "We can't just keep him like that indefinitely, killing him obviously didn't work."

"Maybe he wasn't dead for long enough." Tosh suggested.

Owen groused at her. "Nah, it can't be that. He must have been dead longer when he fell from the building."

Gwen was nodding.

"So maybe the other guy got in there first?"

Owen and Tosh gave Gwen sceptical looks, but they couldn't come up with anything better themselves.

"Maybe we're not looking at this from the right perspective."

They all looked at Jack who clasped his hands and rested them on the table top.

"Maybe it's different for him, on the other side. When I die, I don't have a choice, I have to come back..... maybe Ianto 'does' have a choice, or maybe he just doesn't know how to make himself come back?"

Owen just looked incredulous. "So what.... I mean if that's the case then there's bugger all we can do."

"Maybe not." Tosh was thinking hard now. "Well, maybe Jack can communicate with him."

Owen and Gwen both shot her concerned looks, but Jack was nodding.

"Yeah, you know Tosh, that might just work. I mean in theory he goes to the same place that I go when I die. If I died and stayed that way for long enough I may be able to find him and help him."

"That's insane!" Gwen couldn't believe her ears. "I mean it is, isn't it?"

Owen didn't know what to think. "No maybe not. What have got to lose from trying?" If he were honest with himself, the chance to have an excuse to kill Jack was a rather pleasing one.

"Jack could end up in the state that Ianto is in, for all we know he could be trapped there for entirely different reasons and we'd never know." Gwen retorted liking the idea less and less.

Jack couldn't help but feel slightly confused and relieved at the same time over Gwen's reaction, at least it meant she cared about her friends and made them think before jumping in.

"There's no way of us finding out until we try. Let's be realistic, if Ianto is reachable, then I am likely the only one in existence who can get to him. We can't leave him the way he is without at least trying to restore his...... him."

Tosh was nodding her approval, but she was worried all the same.

Owen got to his feet. "I guess I need to set up a second bed in the autopsy bay then, Tosh can you give me a hand?"

The decision was obviously made then.

"Yes of course."

The two of them left the room and Gwen anxiously fingered her engagement ring.

"If this doesn't work, what are we going to do with Ianto? I mean if he is immortal, will he be like that forever?"

Jack didn't want to contemplate it. "I don't know. I guess we put his body in cryo, at least then his functions will be suspended so that no one has to nurse him. God Ianto would hate anyone having to do that."

"But what will happen to him Jack? When all this is gone, a thousand years time, he'll just be a body that doesn't change or die..... I can't think of anything worse."

Jack couldn't either, except.

"If he has a choice and he doesn't want to come back, which is worse being trapped in a body you can never escape from or being..... Where ever it is he is."

Gwen sighed at the distant expression on Jack's face.

"How do you not go mad Jack?"

"Maybe one day I will. I was kinda hoping that Ianto would be around to stop me, if anyone can it's him."

Gwen's gut tightened with jealousy, but she quashed it, this was neither the time nor place for such indulgences.

"You'd better get him back then."

Owen held up a syringe in Jack's line of sight.

"You've always reckoned that poison takes the longest. Judging from my studies of you this should give you approximately an hour of 'dead' time. We're only doing this the once Jack. If it doesn't work, then Ianto goes in the freezer, doctor's orders."

Jack nodded. He settled himself down on the cot and took a glance across at Ianto who was lying prone beside him.

"You kill us both, but I need Ianto's hand, tie our hands together first."

Owen frowned. "You think it will make a difference?"

"I don't know, just humour me Owen."

Tosh, did the honours as Jack held the hand that was placed in his and entwined their fingers, Ianto's were complete pliable and unresponsive and Tosh wrapped a bandage around the joined hands to keep them together. Jack watched as she and Gwen retreated to the gallery level to observe.

"If neither of us revives put us both into cryo."

Owen nodded as he injected poison into Jack's and then Ianto's IV lines.

Jack focussed his gaze on Owen as he felt pain grip at his body, dragging him under, he vaguely heard something about powerful sedatives and then he sank peacefully into the black.


	9. Chapter 9

**PART EIGHT**

_Ianto was suddenly aware of another presence. He wasn't certain how he knew that someone else was there, he just knew. He likened it to the sensation of someone walking over his grave. He'd lost his sense of time and place, wasn't aware of time or place, but another presence....... If he'd been anywhere else he would have turned to look, but here there was no movement, no air brushing against his skin, no fabric keeping him warm..... no anything. Not even a residual self image, or view of where ever it was he currently found himself. His comprehension amounted to one thing and one thing only, a sense of being. His brain struggled to deal and so he just accepted._

"_Ianto?"_

_The word echoed through him, his name spoken in such a way, a slow drawl of an accent that vibrated through his bones. Did he have bones anymore?_

"_Jack?" It was a thought, incoherent and insubstantial. Ianto wasn't in the least bit concerned._

"_I thought I might find you here." There was a comforting rumble almost a chuckle._

"_And where is here?"_

"_I don't know, what do you see?"_

"_There's nothing to see. I just...... I don't know."_

"_Open your eyes Ianto."_

_My eyes? But I have no eyes in this place. "There's nothing to see, I cannot do as you ask."_

"_Exactly. This place is where I come after death. There is nothing here, literally nothing."_

"_I like it. I feel untroubled here." Ianto could feel something inside him smiling._

"_Aren't you bored?"_

"_No, I just am. How long have I been here Jack?"_

"_Almost 24 hours now, you revived..... well your body did at least.... right now we're both dead."_

"_We are?" Ianto had no idea, he didn't feel dead or alive for that matter._

"_Don't you feel it? That force of life tugging at you, like hooks in your skin, ready to drag you back into the world?"_

"_I feel nothing, just that I exist."_

"_It's not enough to just exist though."_

_Ianto felt himself smile. "Perhaps for me it is. I don't have to strive for anything here, I don't need love or attention or knowledge. I just. I don't feel time passing me by, eroding the days like a cancer. I remember being out there and always being afraid."_

"_Afraid of what?"_

"_Afraid of losing you, afraid of dying too soon, afraid of making mistakes, of living in the moment. I need order and here is the one place where I get it in bucket loads. This place is like anti-chaos."_

"_I can't stay here Ianto, I will be pulled back soon, I can feel it already. I'd like you to come back too."_

_Ianto could sense his fear._

"_I know, but I don't know what to do. I don't feel that same compulsion, how do I come back to you?"_

"_Make a choice Ianto, that's all you have to do, make a choice."_

Jack lurched upright on the cot and dragged in a couple of painful breaths. Immediately Owen was at his side, scanner in hand, but Jack batted it away focussing his full attention on Ianto, squeezing the younger man's fingers under the bandages.

"Come on Ianto." He whispered.

"Did you speak to him?" Gwen demanded from the upper level.

Jack nodded and watched as Ianto began to breathe, sucking in deep gentle breaths. His eyelids fluttered open revealing deepest blue and Ianto turned his head to face Jack, a calm smile on his pale face.

"Ianto?"

Ianto raised the hand that was bound to Jack's. "Someone want to tell me what's going on or maybe this is a private party I wasn't made aware of?" He said weakly. He was immediately puzzled by the worried expression on Jack's face.

"What happened?" He tried to sit up but Owen's strong grip on his shoulders held him back.

"Be still Tea Boy."

Ianto complied, his gazed firmly fixed on Jack.

"Jack what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Jack was busy unbinding their joined hands.

"I was with Gwen, we were chasing some bloke through his flat..... oh, the balcony.....ok I remember seeing the pavement rapidly approaching. Was I dead?" The lie was too easy.

"As a dodo mate." Owen answered with a grin. "But you seem fine now."

"Can I sit up now?"

Owen nodded and turned to put his equipment back on the bench. Ianto cautiously sat up with help from Jack.

"I don't remember any of the being dead bit and it didn't hurt waking up, is that normal?" He was looking at Jack now in earnest.

Jack stepped back and shrugged unable to decide whether or not he should feel hurt at Ianto's revelation.

"Normal for you maybe." He hitched a strained smile, which wasn't lost on Ianto in the slightest, but he became aware of the girls looking down at him from the upper level and smiled at them. Tosh and Gwen both looked relieved.

"Anyone want a coffee?"

It seemed like the appropriate thing to ask.

"Thought you'd never ask, jump to it Tea Boy."

Over the course of the day things slowly got back to normal. Gwen, Owen and Jack went out to chase a clutch of weevils down into the sewers and Ianto sat with Tosh having another lesson on using the Hub's computer systems. She enjoyed teaching him because he was patient and paid attention and Tosh needed the distraction because she kept thinking about the fact that he had died and now he was like Jack, doomed to exist forever. Tosh didn't want it to bother her, but it did, she liked Ianto in spite of his anal retentive nature and rather odd habits, she trusted him and didn't want to treat him any differently now that he was different. She hoped that Jack would help him deal with all the things that were bound to happen but then Ianto seemed content enough. It bothered her that he hadn't asked what had been happening over the last day, maybe he would ask Jack later, in private.

Ianto finished the programming that Tosh had asked him to do and handed her the hardcopy of the work he had done so that she could review it whilst she was checking for bugs. He was certain she wouldn't find any, he'd put in a lot of extra hours over the last month revising everything she had been teaching him, much aided by his fantastic memory. He was not one to show off though, he just wanted Tosh to be happy with the work, so that she could trust him to get on and free her up for more important and difficult tasks. Of course he had lied about his experience on the other side, the last thing he wanted to do was discuss it openly in front of the team. He was pretty sure he didn't want to talk to Jack about it either. Coming back had been incredibly hard and would have been impossible if Jack hadn't have been there to guide him back. He found himself gazing into the middle distance as he waited for the coffee machine to work its magic and was shaken out of his reverie by the sound of the cog door opening. Owen was complaining and yelling at Gwen, who sounded like she was about to burst into tears. Ianto concentrated on arranging mugs on a tray and was startled by a pair of arms snaking around his waist and warm breath against his right cheek.

"You're a saviour, but don't make them I'm going to send the others home, its late and you and I need to talk about that bullshit you spun in the medical bay earlier." Jack's voice was low, but determined in his ear.

Ianto nodded. "Of course." He tried not to sigh, but his body tensed automatically. Jack appeared to sense his reaction and kissed his cheek.

"I just need to know that you're ok." He whispered.

Ianto closed his eyes suddenly overwhelmed by his spiralling emotions, he kept it all in check.

"I know Jack. I'll bring some coffee up to your office."

It didn't take long to get the others out of the Hub. It had been a long and stressful day and Jack was wholly aware that they all riding high on confusing emotions after what had happened with O'Rourke and Ianto. He found the Welshman sitting in his office looking worn out and thoroughly fed up. Jack closed the door and sat on the edge of his desk with his arms folded across his chest.

"You wanna tell me why you lied earlier?"

Ianto steadfastly refused to look at him for a moment finding the shelf behind his boss much more interesting.

"Everyone was there Jack, I didn't want to..... not in front of the others. It's private, what's happened to me is not their concern."

Jack sighed. "You really see it that way?"

"Yes."

"Ianto, they are your friends, they were worried and we can't afford to have to have these kind of secrets between us if we're to work as a team and trust each other."

Ianto fixed a glare at Jack. "Says the man who seems to have exclusive rights on keeping things to himself."

"That's different!" Jack snapped back. "I've told you there are things you don't need to know."

Ianto lurched to his feet and made for the door, his hand never made it to the handle before Jack grabbed his wrist and swung him round.

"Ianto, stop this. This isn't about me, don't you see I am trying to help you."

Ianto stopped and looked him straight in the eyes, his shoulders sagged on seeing the genuine concern written all over Jack's face.

"Come on, sit down. Talk to me."

Ianto hesitated and Jack tugged on his sleeve. "Please."

Reluctantly he allowed Jack to steer back to his chair and sit him down. Jack resumed his place on the edge of the desk.

"Tell me what you remember."

Ianto sighed, gathering himself. "I remember falling, seeing the sky rush away from me. I felt my skull cave in, heard the bones crunching against the concrete and an explosion of pain and then..... I was in that place where you found me....." He snuffled for a moment realising that he wanted to cry but sure as hell wasn't going to in front of Jack. "I liked it there, there was nothing, no feeling, no pain. I was content Jack. I've never felt that before it was like I was where I am supposed to be. Funny really I was expecting something more clichéd like a room full of ghosts or something." He clenched his hands, they were shaking.

Jack found himself feeling a little jealous, his own death experiences were never peaceful.

"So why didn't you come back when you fell?"

Ianto shrugged. "Didn't feel it, the need that is."

"And when I shot you?"

Ianto looked up with narrowed eyes. "You shot me?"

Jack nodded. "When you came back the first time, some else was occupying your body. I shot you in the head to remove him. Did you not realise any of that?"

Ianto shook his head, vaguely shocked at the revelation. "You shot me?"

Jack watched a myriad of emotions play out across Ianto's face. "I'm sorry. I guess I was a little panicked, the guy was a creep and I didn't like him where he shouldn't be."

Ianto snorted half in disgust and partly amused. "You selfish twat."

"Yeah, that's what Owen thinks of me too, no surprises there then." He reached out a hand and tentatively touched Ianto's cheek. "I was scared I was going to lose you." He whispered. "Things were starting to get better between us."

A faint smile was hitched. "Yes, I suppose they were. It's not exactly a normal relationship is it."

"It never could be Ianto, not before."

"And now?"

"We have to learn to trust each other. I don't want you dying on me and not be able to come back, or feel you just don't want to come back." Jack's hand fell away and Ianto sighed at the loss of contact.

"I don't think I was conscious of a choice Jack. I just felt right there, but I am certain that I would not have been able to find my way back without you to show me. I couldn't feel any of that 'pull' that you spoke of. It was like being caught in amber, the whole of time could have passed me by and I wouldn't have noticed."

"I would have."

"But why now Jack? You've never said anything before all this."

Jack knelt down at Ianto's feet and grasped both of his hands, resting them on Ianto's knees.

"Because now we are equal Ianto. I don't have to move on after you've gone. I'm not going to be left behind. I don't have to consign you to memory and I can be there for you when the people you love pass away. Neither of us has to be alone. I know I can be all kinds of stupid sometimes. I wasn't strong enough to love you as a mortal man, because I couldn't face losing you."

"And you really believe that love can be eternal Jack?"

"There's only one way we are going to find out."

They leant their foreheads together. "And what if when I die next time and I can't find my way back?"

"Then I will guide you, I won't lose you."

Ianto closed his eyes. "Don't think for one moment that gives you free license not to tell me things Jack, like you said we're equal now and I need to know everything."

"We've got plenty of time."

**AN: So not the ending I was planning.... I was going to be mean and horrible, but I thought I'd better cut Ianto some slack for a change..... for all you saps out there...... next time I won't be so soft.**


End file.
